I am struggling with my thoughts. Whenever I start to have negative thoughts, I can’t control it and it keeps on bringing more and more negativity. How do I control it? Also I feel stressed and worried about the future events as I think about the negative outcome that doesn’t occur actually. Some advice is highly appreciated.
What you are experiencing is very common – its like the game “dominos” – once one block gets knocked over, it starts a chain reaction that just continues.
The reason this happens is that our anxiety is trying to protect us. One of the things anxiety uses to get us to protect ourselves is “obsessing” – all in an effort to control an outcome of some kind.
Once we catch ourselves thinking – or obsessing over something that is negative – it is this time that we can start to manage our thoughts. We have to break the cycle of obsessing and redirect our thoughts elsewhere. To do this we use “tools” – you can watch the videos or read what I wrote about using tools to manage our thoughts.
Obsessing actually becomes a habit of sorts – my counselor used to call it a “bad habit”. To break this habit we use the tools to create a new habit – we actually learn to look away from the negative thoughts and retrain ourselves that its ok to do so.
Remember, we cannot “stop” a thought from happening. So you may have the negative thoughts – but its what you do once you realize you are having them that determines what happens. If you allow them to continue they will – if you learn to “ignore” them and look away – they will disappear.
Let me know if you have any other questions – and if you need any guidance with implementing the tools.